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Circles..........

Its 1:01am and I am no nearer to going to sleep than I was at 9:30pm!!! I have just written a really challenging letter, which I have needed to do for a while, unfortunately it has made me very awake and has sent my mind whirling with what ifs and consequences. We always think too much - well I know I do. I think about who I want to be, what I want to do, how people perceive me, how I am going to cope if this happens, how my family will cope if that happens - I AM A NIGHTMARE!!!

Spending some time away from 'normal' life this week, I had a lot of time on my hands. There was nothing I could do except think and plan. Whether this was a good thing is totally debatable!!! While away, I met an amazing young family. Their 20 year old daughter had fallen ill with pneumonia in October, after lots of complications with treatment etc she was laying in front of me severely Brain damaged and struggling to communicate, even though in her eyes you knew what she was trying to say. She had originally fallen ill with a regular complaint - the same one I had battled 3 years previously. It put everything I am battling with now into perspective. Sarah's mother said to me "we don't think of tomorrow, but the here and now, that is all that counts". Tonight that is at the front of my mind. In all the hustle and bustle, in between all the what ifs and buts, we have been given the most amazing gift from God - Life.

Sometimes we get so dizzy from forcing ourselves to go round and round when it is not needed. The problem with traveling in a circle is there is never an end. Travelling in a circle means you can never visibly see a way out.

I am not really sure what I am getting at here, I just thought I would share what is stopping slumber tonight!!!

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