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Channel Four.......

This evening I watched a programme called 'The Virgin Daughters" on channel four.  It was all about purity and sex before marriage. I have to be truthful it totally freaked me.  

I really believe that marriage is sacred and an act that shouldn't be taken into lightly, I also whole-heartedly believe that you should save yourself for marriage.

Saving yourself however I don't believe means you cant hold hands or kiss.  God isn't going to be upset with you because you kissed a boy at the age of 15, you aren't going to be unclean for holding someone of the opposites sex hand.  It makes me think what impression are we giving to younger non-Christians, 'if you become a Christian you cant hold you boyfriend/girlfriends hand until you're married'; that is insane and frankly I don't think 98% of young people will buy into.

Also no offense to my Dad, however I don't want him to pick my future husband.  If my previous boyfriends asked my Dads permission to date me I would never have had a boyfriend (actually like most of the girls on that programme my age!!!).  I don't think I could marry a man identical to my Dad either.  The dependency from these girls on their Dads, I felt was really scary.  These fathers' set up almost arranged marriages for their daughters.  I believe a Dads role is so important; these men need to be vital role models for their children otherwise it may hinder there upbringing to some degree.  However, I also feel this level of dependency is not healthy.

My decision to wait until I am married has been a long process, one with lots of pushing boundaries and discussions with peers and some mistakes.  I actually only came to that decision when I was 20, some time after I became a Christian.  Some of these girls were as young as 5 making these pledges of purity, how do they even know what they are agreeing to?  Their lives are yet to be filled with temptation, this is their innocent stage, should they really be agreeing to contracts of purity?  Should they even be thinking about what purity means?

I 100% congratulate these girls who have fulfilled their pledges of purity and have made their fathers so proud - as I know that is what most girls strive for in their lives, many of them failing.  But I also must say God forgives.  We screw up that is human nature, we sometimes fall down at hurdles and break promises.  We do all this and still God forgives.  Yes, teach our younger generation the importance of saving sex for a committed loving relationship, ideally within marriage - but please lets not build them up for a fall, lets not allow them to feel ashamed if they don't live up to high expectations, lets let them live their lives as safe educated teenagers.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey Em. Am absolutely with you on this one. There was something really quite creepy about some of those dads on the programme. And I really can't think that bringing your daughters up with such immense feelings of 'guilt' and 'failure' if they have even held hands or kissed a boy is particularly healthy.
And what about girls with absent fathers - are they excluded from being able to 'save themselves' because they don't have a dad who does this for them and chooses their future husband.
Thought the programme had such a massive sense of 'only in America'.
I struggle to believe we have a loving, gracious, merciful God who believes that way is the only way.
Paula xx
26 September 2008 at 07:39
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