Live for each day!!!

After my little depression slot today!!! I have had the most amazing couple of hours. You know when work just totally goes your way, everything you need to do gets done quickly and with ease and people just co-operate with you fully! Then I just chatted to the most amazing lady who's departing words to me were "just hold on in there, God knows your heart and the plans He has for you are just stunning". How beautiful are those words. I hadn't even discussed me with her at all, I hadn't spoken about myself or my emotions; she may not even realise what that comment meant. But it has just spoken volumes. It has really refreshed my mood! Don't you love people like that?

I have really struggled today. Couldn't tell you why, don't really know myself. I don't really even know what I have been struggling with. I have just had that real sense of being alone. I have been missing my nan so much recently. Missing her smile, her love and just really her companionship - it has been really tough. She always knew what to do in a problem or when I am in a state, she just had all the advice anyone would need to know. My Nan was a really amazing woman. We all took the mick out of her because of her stubborn ways and hilarious mannerisms - but we loved her nevertheless. She would have done any thing for anyone, no questions asked and no need to explore any further. The one good thing about my Nans death, is that she died knowing Gods love and saving grace. So I can live self-assured and content that one day I will meet her again in a better place. Until then I will fondly remember her for the amazing woman she was xxx

You know when you have that feeling of just being completed deflated?!?!? I felt like that tonight (Thurs). Although I loved every second of work it had been long and tiring, I was truly shattered. And you know when you look in your diary and just think please Lord let my eyes be deceiving me and please don't say I have a 7:30pm meeting I just really cant handle it, not tonight! Instead of my eyes playing tricks the diary was correct and I went to the 7:30pm meeting really not in the right frame of mind for anything. Whist in this anti-social state this amazing truly spirit filled group of 12 or so people started our meeting off with the most humbling worship. So much so I was fighting back the streams of tears that were just flowing down my face. I was unable to get my words out. I was in such awe of what an amazing Lord we have, and to think that I was previously complaining because I was tired and felt groggy and just really wanted to go home. It is like I had completely forgott...

Yesterday I blogged about who we are and about journeys, since then it has been brought to my attention that continuously looking forward isn’t necessarily always helpful. To most people that may sound obvious, but to me it hasn’t been! I often focus on what I want to become, where I want to be in so many years and what I need to do to get there? I always felt that letting bad experiences or things from the past (whether good or bad) have some bearing on your judgements would be a bad move. I felt they must be locked away safely where no one could get to them as they are in the past for a reason. I now believe I was wrong in thinking this; obviously you can’t let your past dictate what you do now, but it can help you to become a better well-rounded person. I am reminded that God is the same; yesterday, today and forever. Sometimes locking your past away and not dealing with it, can be more detrimental than working through that past whether it is hurtful or joyous. Praise God that He h...

For the last couple of days many people have been asking me who are you? Where are you going after this stage in your life? I have so far been managing to muddle my way through these questions - but how long am I actually going to mange to carry on muddling through? Who scripture says I am is simple, it is who I allow myself to be that isn't!!! When I was 5 I had a real plan of what I was going to be when I was older, what I was going to learn, who I was going to be friends with and what I would never do........these have all changed and not been followed. Now I have no clue what tomorrow will bring for me, let alone the next 15 years. To me at a young age this would have been devastating! Everything had to be planned out thoroughly and stuck to, right down to the tiniest detail. Now at the age of 20 I am on such an adventure, not knowing what is around every corner can be really exciting but also very daunting. What it all concludes to in the end, is that my life can not be plann...

When my alar m went off this morning at 5:45 I was not impressed at the thought of clambering out of warm, cozy bed to the cold, wet world facing me outside my bedroom door! However I managed to force myself into a state of consciousness and get to early morning prayer by the unearthly hour of 6:30 am. When there, my sleepy state was rudely awoken by the text that lay in front of me. "Tell God that you want to love him as he desires you to 'Let you will be done in my life Lord' ". We also focused on Hosea 6:6 'I don't want your sacrifices - I want your love; I don't want your offerings - I want you to know me' both of these statements really challenged me. Do I know God as well as I should do? Do I spend enough time in His word and in prayer to intensify and deepen that relationship with Him? My head has been buzzing from thoughts, ideas, concepts and dreams since reading this a couple of hours ago; I know that I have got a lot of things to journal, pr...

In Courageous Leadership there is a chapter called 'The Art of Self Leadership'. It is the most mind blowing chapter of a book I have ever read in my life - I have read it over and over again and each time I get something new out of it. This is a segment from this chapter it is from Rory Noland's song "holy spirit, take control" 'Holy Spirit, take control. Take my body, mind and soul. Put a finger on anything that doesn't please you, Anything I do that grieves you. Holy spirit, take control'

I had a check-up at the Royal Brompton Hospital in South Kensington this morning and God is just so amazing!! I promise it hasn't taken me this long to realise it but today just confirmed it even more to me. I have been dreading this appointment for a while and have made myself so panic-stricken over it, but it all went so well. Results didn't completely go my way but Gods healing hand is so present in this disease and He is just so awesome. His power just leaves me and my Mum awestruck every time I leave the hospital, it also leaves the doctors amazed at the miraculous recovery I am constantly making. It truly confirms to me the verse in John 10:10 "the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I come so you may have life and life to the full". Thank you Lord!

I received this is an email today and rarely pass these things on, but actually I like it and it is quite fitting for the lovely friends I have. Even if a period of time passes - whenever one of us gets back in contact with the other we carry on as we left off, and that's friendship - I always know you are there if ever I needed a true friend. A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now an...

I have been reading this book now for a couple of weeks and every time I turn another page I am intrigued by the amazing gems of wisdom that leap out at me 'The Local church is the hope of the world' is just one comment that he repeats constantly in the first few pages and although I have heard that saying so often, the way he skilfully writes about this just moves me to the brink of tears. How can we as Christians sometimes overlook that fact? It makes me ponder how highly to I regard my Church, when I get ready to go whether on a Sunday, or during the week, do I actually realise what this place is? THE HOPE OF THE WORLD!! That is a massive deal!!!! Words cannot explain how important any church is - I feel that we are all worried about the how, what and where and not the why of the church. We are there to worship our God, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. We're there to honour Him, His majesty, greatness, unconditional love and amazing forgiveness to us all. It just mov...

I have been extremely laxed at blogging and when I opened this blog thought it was an amazing idea - which it was. However I was not dedicated to it and gave up almost immediatley. I have now decided that if you start things you must carry on and see things through to the end Welcome to my new blog!