Live for each day!!!

So I attended a baptism on Sunday afternoon.  It was a really lovely service where two of my friends got 'dunked'!!! To make things even better I managed to take my non-Christian boyfriend along.  I was quite worried about how he would take it and how things would turn out, but he was very respectful and genuinely interested in everything that happened. Lots of questions have been asked; lets hope that the seeds that have been planted may now grow....

My Jesus, My Saviour, Lord there is no one like you, All of my days, I want to praise The wonders of Your mighty love. My comfort, my shelter, Tower of refuge and strength Let every breath, all that I am Never cease to worship You. Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing, Power and majesty, praise to the King! Mountains bow down and the seas will roar, At the sound of your name! I sing for joy at the work of your hands, Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stand Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

If miracles could happen, what would be your one hope?

Do you ever wish there were parts of your life you could rewind to and do differently and erase? I have so many.  Today after an awful day and actually some very tough emails and letters received, I find myself in that place. But there are not just bad things I want to rewind to and do differently though.  There are some good things as well.  For instance there is so much in my apprenticeship I would now change - because of things that are happening now.  I would deal with circumstances differently.  Change the way I behaved, acted, words said and actions carried out. My Nan always used to say to me 'don't ever do anything you may later regret'.  Wise words.  And I don't think I truthfully regret anything I did on my apprenticeship.  Nevertheless I am now wishing I could change alot. This evening I am thinking 'what if I never completed my apprenticeship at all? Where would I be?' and asking 'why God did you lead me onto that specific pathway?'

So today I have had a tough, sad and quite a horrible day to be truthful.  I have had quite a mixed bag of emotions.  I have cried, screamed, laughed, shouted, thrown stuff, giggled, loved, hated and everything else in-between. So I decided to watch a good, soppy romantic film tonight.  The final decision was pretty woman. Now I have completely cried myself dry - I love this film. I love the way someone can trust and invest so much in a particular person no matter of their past..... Just an amazing and beautiful chick flick!

My heart-felt love and prayers go out to Jade's family. May she not be remembered as the loud, loutish racist.  But as a young woman who publicly battled an evil disease as she knew 'it was too late' for herself 'but may help other people'. I pray her young sons will be surrounded by love, support and happy memories. I also hope people will not speculate or comment about the negative things surrounding Jades passing or her previous character - but would remember ultimately a young woman with two young children has passed away at a tragically young age...

I just love the lyrics to this song....

So I went to see this film on Sunday - by no means my choice at all!!!! But Guy wanted to see it - so we went!  It was horrible - I don't do blood and there was loads of it. My mind was swirling with other stuff - and you really had to concentrate to understand the plot line. My mental age right now is about 5 years old - and it was an 18 rating! It just was not well suited for me. However this line I did pick up and understand. It was talking about relationships and love. The comment was that the connection, love and astounding beauty of when a child is forming, is more rare and extraordinary than oxygen turning to gold..... That imagery has just stuck in my mind ever since.

I cannot truly believe how vile and disgustingly disrespectful some people can be towards a dying woman. This 27 year old woman, with two beautiful sons will almost certainly not be around this time next month. Nor spend mothers day with her children. Yet some people think its acceptable to make jokes and comment about her so negatively and horridly. Cancer is one of the worst ways to spend your final days. Knowing something is eating you alive and you cant stop it. Knowing that something inside will steal your life away has to be the worst feeling in the world. And to be truthful, I think Jade has coped with it with dignity and self-respect. Granted I don't totally agree with how public her illness has been - but she has raised so much awareness and probably saved a good few many lives. Who's place is it to judge anyone on how they want to die? Who should tell somebody how they should spend their final days on earth? Not mine for certain. Now I will step down from my soapbox

So I have been trying to think of something funny, witty, different, astoundingly appropriate, significant and everything else for my 200th post.   Actually I have not been able to think up anything!!!  Shows you how ad-lib my blog is!!! I become astounded when I hear people have read what I have written.  That people are actually interested in what I write.  To me it is just what is in my head.  What doesn't go into my journal.  What is swirling around in my mind!!! This blog was mainly to be a release from my apprenticeship, a way of sharing the amazing experiences I was blessed enough to experience.  9 months after finishing, I am still here.  Still writing.  Sill being challenged but blessed. Thank you for reading and lets hope there will be many more blog entries to come!!!

I think it is amazing how some people are placed in your lives when you need them the most - usually you find them in the most unexpected circumstances and places.   These people speak light into the darkness. 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path' Psalm 119 v 105 This was spoken to me recently.  This person said you needed to split this up.  The first part is about standing on Jesus.  When you are rooted in Jesus you may only be able to see your feet.  However this does not matter, because when you are confident in what you believe, you don't need to see anymore. Then when you need, God may show you a little more.  He may bring light to your path which may enable you to take half a step forward or maybe even a couple.  Nevertheless God will only lighten your path by the amount you need to see.  There are times when God needs to take you to the place where you cant see anything - that is when you need to trust in Him more than anything in the world...

So recently I have been very efficient and have been making lots of lists.   Like most people I have made a list of things I want to do before I die.......it is HUGE!!!! I have so many things I want to do - looks like I am going to be very very busy!!! Thought I would share 10 things. 1.  Get Married 2.  Become a Mum 3.  Go Bungee Jumping 4.  Watch the Lion King in London 5.  Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower 6.  Meet Take That (!) 7.  Sing on a West End Stage 8.  Go to Australia 9.  Write My Story 10. Touch 20 people's lives Just a small insight to one of my random lists!!!

As a family we went to the X Factor Live Tour on Thursday night and it was fantastic. Laura, Rachel, Daniel, Ruth, Diana, Egohan, JLS and Alexandra - wowed us all at the O2 - it was honestly awesome!!! To make it even better Signature were there.  It totally spooked us because obviously Michael Jackson was there just a few hours before so no-one could work out who they were!!?!!  It was only when Madhu Singh came on (the man it the lab coat!!) that everyone got out of a stage of shocked and realised who they actually were! It was so so so so good and honestly one of the best X Factor concerts I have been too - EVER!!!

"Great is Your faithfulness Great is Your faithfulness You never change You never fail oh God" We sing songs like this.  We worship God with our whole hearts.  We trust in Gods sovereignty.  We trust the journey God has in store for us.  But sometimes I struggle to understand why things happen the way they do?! Why do some people die of cancer, why do some people struggle with issues of mental health, why do some people lose their lives so soon.  These are all questions we struggle to answer.  These are all questions we wrestle with and will never get an answer this side of heaven. Natural disasters will continue to occur, loved ones will still die, people will still fall ill.  Life will continue to deal some people pretty pants hands - but I will try to continue to say my God is faithful. I need to continue to say God you are faithful and never change...