Live for each day!!!

This year I have decided not to make any new years resolutions!!!!  I am going to have goals and aims instead, so here are some of them; One of them will be to sleep more!!!  Another to laugh more... Spend more time with the people I love and care about... Be the woman of God I know I can be... Have more commitment to my studies... Not to worry about small things but focus on the bigger picture... To protect myself more, however not to allow self-made barriers to control me... Dream  big.... Love more.... Take more chances... Become more dependable... Become less naive... Develop Relationships... Read more... Journal More... Broaden Trust, but post guards... Ignore silly negativity... Pray more realistically... Not to worry over things I cant change... Smile more... Live life to its fullest...

As the scarlet sunset slowly fades, And dusk introduces the night, The crescent moon on center stage, Gives forth a semblance of light. Perching on the mossy dock, Staring out at the mirrored lake, I reflect on this new battle, Unsure of which road to take. In this dark serenity, I humbly look up to You, Asking for Your guidance To show me what I must do. Gulls appearing as angels Are soaring though the skies, A congregation of wispy clouds, Have taken control of my eyes. Billowing sleeves of purest white, Seem coming through the haze, Majestic, gentle, outstretched arms, At once command my gaze. Asking for some answers, You've come with Your embrace Through the just born evening, You've filled me with Your grace. The water without a ripple, Reflects this scene from above, A most magnificent masterpiece, Painted wholly with Your love... Evening Answers - BSC

God, I'm in this place again, I'm trying so hard not to fall. Everything keeps coming down with the rain, And I try so hard, I forget to call. Everybodys looking around and wants to be found. And I'm just hanging on; I give you all that I am... Everyday Sunday - Hanging On

Christmas day was manic in my household as you can imagine!!!  We were all excited, Jack especially as Santa came to visit!!!  It was wonderful to spend the day with my Grandparents.  They love the noise and commotion a young family brings, they join in all the games and we all do have a giggle. Each year I note one thing that makes my Christmas.  This year amidst all the mayhem and noise my grandparents brought me the greatest happiness.  The whole time we opened our presents they sat there holding hands and smiling at each other. The whole time we played games or watched the film their love for each other radiated. After 49 years of marriage and 52 years of being together, I think that is an amazing thing and something I can only ever wish and pray for. 

This is the life we've been given So open your mind and start living We can play a part if we only start believing This is the life we've been given So open your heart and start loving We can make a start if we only learn to listen Take That - The Garden

Just wanted to announce that it is 7 hours and 1 minute until Father Christmas comes... I was having a discussion on Monday night about what gifts Santa puts in the stockings yearly - my list was things like a satsuma, chocolate coins, cotton wool, nail file, deodorant etc etc that's not including the little surprises!!! Eric thinks Father Christmas should be banned or something (which I think is appalling !!!) spending the day on Monday with some children who were so excited about Christmas was stunning, they were so excited for Father Christmas to come and were certain that they could sometimes hear bells, which meant Santa's helpers were watching them making sure they were being good!!! I just hope I am on the good list this year........

The saying goes 'Home is where the heart is'.  Firstly I struggle with that concept because physically your heart goes with you everywhere (I hope....) so therefore home is wherever you are physically. On the other hand if you say that your home is where your 'emotional' heart is, then I think I am homeless!!!  This upsets me.  As you can tell I have been thinking of this a lot recently because I do have random mind!  I know if ever I were physically homeless I would always have places to go.  I am fortunate to have some amazing friends, people whom God has placed in to my life who have honestly made such a difference.  People who have and am sure will continue to 'put up with me' when I have no where to go.   But where is my home?  Obviously I have a house where my family are, and where I  live.  But actually I don't consider that where my 'heart' stays.  Therefore my question is can  you be emotionally homeless?  If so how can you create/make/have

I didn't realise until these last few weeks that I cannot deal with pressure. I th ought I was pretty good at coping, however have been proved wrong. I had six university assignments to hand in this week, which I panicked about so much its unbelievable!!! After all the stress I put myself under, I finished before the deadline and handed them in early. I have hidden myself away from the world for a while, ignoring calls, texts and emails as well as deactivating facebook and blog accounts, cancelling time with my friends, the people that I actually should have asked support from. However in true Emma fashion reckoned I could deal with things in my own head space, all alone. As some special people have reminded me over the last year, things don't ever need to be dealt with alone. That is not why God placed friends in our lives. That is why the man was lowered to the feet of Jesus by his friends when he could not get there himself, that is why Aaron and Hur held Moses' arms up

I watched the film 'Pursuit of Happyness' tonight.  I cried.  The film is just beautiful.  The bit that touches me the most is when the father and son are in the church.  Everyone around them are worshipping God and the father is just holding onto is son, his arms tightly protecting him, the love just radiates from him. This echoes so much in our own lives.  People around us are getting on with their own things, yet we are standing still in time, clinging onto our Father and sometimes we don't feel Him there, but His arms are constantly wrapped around us, holding us close whilst loving and protecting us constantly.  

All I want is freedom Is that too much to ask All I want is freedom To forget everything from my past All I want is freedom To take away all the tears and the pain All I want is freedom To never feel that way again All I want is freedom  To love you my own way All I want is freedom  to make all my fears go away All I want is freedom To say 'I love you' All I want is free  To hear you say 'I love you too' Christal Carpenter

I have been in hospital the last two days, just for treatment and tests.  Those last two blog entries were posters on my wall. Anyone who knows me, understands what a wimp I am when it comes to needles and blood.  I am truly petrified of needles - blood I am starting to handle quite well thanks to frequent nose bleeds!!!  Anyway as the 'vampires' were having there own sweet way with my blood, my eyes fell upon these posters and the words just moved me.   In Church we have been looking at pressing on towards the goal and to me that was what the determination poster was all about.  It doesn't matter how fast or well you run this race, its the way you just keep persevering, no matter what is thrown at you, you just never give up, you keep going until you reach that finish line. The attitude quote for me was just pure encouragement.  I heard a preacher say on Sunday that we cant live in the past or assume/let the past dictate who we are now.  To me this attitude poster supporte

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows....

The race is not always to the swift but to those who kept running...

This is probably going to be the most random blog entry in my life but it was my thoughts so I am going to write it anyway!!! We had our last youth cell before Christmas today.  I love the youth they are truly truly truly fantastic.  However I am going to be so honest, I was thinking of stopping the youth work I do recently.  Tonight made me realise that is just so not an option!!! Anyway they love this game called consequences.  The one where you write a story line, fold the paper pass it to the next person they write another line and so on.  You end up with several stupid nonsense stories.  Sometimes you get the most fantastic stories from them though and things make sense even if you know they shouldn't, as the previous person had no clue what was written before hand. I took a drive after youth cell to clear my head and just get myself in a place suitable for the up-coming week.  A thought came to me (yes this is the random part...) the game consequences can have some parallel t

I decided this afternoon that I was being miserable and completely scrooge-like in my approach to Christmas!!!! Although I have done my Christmas shopping, I have cheated and done most of it on the Internet so have not entered into the Christmas spirit of it!!!  Because of uni work and hospital visits I have not really thought about Christmas and I haven't written any Christmas cards because I have decided my money is better given to charity where it can make some difference. So it was very funny when I came home to see my Christmas decorations up!! My Mum and brother apparently had a fantastic time doing so - especially as it meant Jack could put the star on the tree without any arguments!!!   To make things even better we sat down together and watched the Christmas film 'Deck the Halls' which is so funny!!!  We all had such a giggle and I now feel truly Christmassy!!! Roll on the 25th December!!!

Every year my Grandma buys us advent calendars, it is her routine and she loves doing it for us. Even though us girls are now 21, 19 and 16 she wants to get us calendars which I think is really sweet! Anyway my youngest sister Victoria is mad on Zac Effron, which you probably gathered from my previous blog  so my Grandma bought her a high school musical advent calendar.  Except it also has a picture of Vanessa Hudgens on - which Victoria is not very impressed with.  (She think Vanessa has stolen her man in true 16 year old fashion!!!) At home we are all struggling with the sudden death of a close family friend so the mood is kind of strained.  So you can imagine the laughter and happiness that walking into the lounge to see Vanessa Hudgens face covered by a picture of my sister on her advent calendar would cause.  It was just priceless!!!

I have always hated goodbyes.  So much so that I have always refused to do them.  When I left my job as ministry apprentice at the church I had a 'see you soon' celebration instead of a farewell!  I even wrote in a good bye card this week that this wasn't goodbye, just see you soon.  At my Nans funeral I  didn't say goodbye - but see you soon as I know she is in heaven and one day I'll join her.  This has now been challenged as someone I loved so much has died very suddenly and he wasn't a Christian.  So what do I say now?   I guess I will have to say goodbye, the peace I get from that is being told on Sunday that goodbye means 'God be with You'.  So Perry Goodbye and rest in peace. x