Live for each day!!!

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Hilary Cooper

This evening I watched a programme called 'The Virgin Daughters" on channel four.  It was all about purity and sex before marriage. I have to be truthful it totally freaked me.   I really believe that marriage is sacred and an act that shouldn't be taken into lightly, I also whole- heartedly  believe that you should save yourself for marriage. Saving yourself however I don't believe means you cant hold hands or kiss.  God isn't going to be upset with you because you kissed a boy at the age of 15, you aren't going to be unclean for holding someone of the opposites sex hand.  It makes me think what impression are we giving to younger non-Christians, 'if you become a Christian you cant hold you boyfriend/girlfriends hand until you're married'; that is insane and frankly I don't think 98% of young people will buy into. Also no offense to my Dad, however I don't want him to pick my future husband.  If my previous boyfriends asked my Dads permissi...

I was put to absolute shame on Monday night by my youth cell.  I was in a warm up session and was asked the question "what was the happiest thing that happened to you last year?" my mind froze and I didn't know what to say.   One of my youth told me what should have been my answer to that question and actually it wasn't working with them!!!  It was a serious one involving God's provision and gracefulness.  It has had me thinking these last couple of days.   It is so easy to forget how amazing God is, especially when we are suffering or busy or just feeling down. It is so easy to forget how God has already provided so much for us in so many ways.   When we don't feel great it is so easy to forget to be thankful to God for all He has done.   "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24

OK so I have given in and joined the MAC sphere!!!   I purchased my very own MAC book last night.  I have to admit it is pretty good!  I am getting used to using it and have transferred all my music, pictures etc and am having great fun! Now I know what everyone was talking about......

I start university today which has aroused so many mixed emotions. I am nervous but excited, questioning but organized! I am looking forward to this new chapter, yet have some doubts which I guess is quite normal. I have been up for hours unable to sleep and have many scenarios rushing through my mind. I have had two gap years and now its time to get down to some work!!! So here goes, a new chapter is soon to begin...

When asked the question "what do you do for enjoyment?" I froze. How ridiculous is that? I know what I enjoy and what I don't, I know who I enjoy spending company with and who I don't; therefore why couldn't I answer the question? It got me thinking more than I ever realised such a simple question could. So I went to my usual location to think about it - Southend!!! I stood on the beach and just thought, and thought, and thought. It then occurred to me how funny it is, that you give up so much when you think people think you should. When I fell ill my parents made me believe I needed to give up everything, I am sure that wasn't intentional but that is what happened. So gradually over time I have given up a lot of my 'wild ways', for some of them that's good, but for others it makes me wonder. Then I realised how easy it is to get yourself into this 'Christian bubble', its so easy to not have any social circles apart from those that involve ...

Last Thursday I started a short bible course from 'The way of the Spirit' series called 'Five Smooth Stones' by Richard George. The subtitle to this course is 'learning to over come your Goliaths', I found it so good. There is a really small group of us doing it and literally last week was the first week but already I have learnt and been challenged so much. I just thought I would comment on some of the things I heard from our first session. Firstly no one can walk our walk. Which sounds so obvious but sometimes I fail to remember that. No one can fight my fights, deal with my tasks or walk in my shoes except me. However much I may want someone to, no one can! God knows the purpose He has for each one of our lives, He knows what each of us are being trained for and individually we must complete the tasks set before us. Secondly, we discussed about it not being about what you do, but what is in your heart that counts. You can go through the motions at church, or ...

"I know that some wounds are not meant to be healed by human touch. Only the tears of the Divine can cleanse these smudges on our souls" Pieces of Glass - Sarah Kay

Today I had one of those "feeling sorry for yourself" days. I totally hate it when others have those days and here I am having one myself! I have a bad ear infection, which I have never had before and didn't actually realise how painful they are! Instead of letting myself laze about it self pity I decided to keep myself busy and rearrange my bedroom! Its something I have wanted to do for a while, I do it quite frequently usually when I am starting a new job, a new academic programme etc. So I was due for a change around ready for university. I love the way in which everything gets so so so messy and then out of the mess things start to take shape again, but you have to get into that messy stage for it to happen. I also love the way you come across things and read things you've looked at before but never really taken notice to. When I finished my apprenticeship I was thoroughly spoilt and placed all my cards in a memory box with my journal and other special things f...

I see the light and His truth therein. I hear His voice in The whispering wind. I gaze upon the mountaintops and I see His majesty. I walk through the woods and feel His presence deep within myself. I stand in awe of the world in which I live, and in the stillness, I know He is God. Robin Ferguson

Over the summer I read a book by Francine Rivers called 'And the Shofar Blew' . In the Bible, the Jewish people blew the Shofar as a call to repentance and this is what I believe is ultimately a core principle of the book, we are called to repent for our lack of focus on God. This fictional book was about a new pastor (Paul) living in the shadow of his famous father, setting out and leading a church of his own, however in his quest, Paul's ego outgrows his devotion to God. Paul's focus switches from God to what he can do for himself. He constantly uses the excuse that it is for the kingdom of God but never actually in his heart believes this, his focus is more how he can please his earthly father and what he can do for himself. It took him loosing everything; his son, his wife, his mother and his integrity to wake up and realise what he was doing. It made me think how easy it is to lose focus and make excuses for that loss. I know that I can do nothing without God'...

"...Although my heart was still screaming that God just isn't fair, my brain was struggling to remind me that knowing God is not only a journey into His heart; He is also travelling deeper and deeper into our hearts too. It is defiantly a two-way affair, but the hard outer shells of out hearts often impede His progress. It is only when out hearts are broken open by grief and loss that we are able to receive more of His love than at any other time...the trouble is when you turn your back on the Lord, you find there isn't anywhere else worth going!" Journey into God's heart - Jennifer Rees Larcombe

Sorry I have been away so long. The Summer has been mad and has flown by so quickly!!! I have had some brilliant time with my nose firmly placed into books and I am sure you will read about some of these when I post my thoughts on here! I've been away to sunny Majorca which was lovely and hot!!! I have managed to catch up and spend some amazing quality time with special people. And I am now fully preparing myself to start university in two weeks. I am stocking up on colourful, bright stationary and the books are mounting in quick and fast!!! I hope you enjoyed a summer of sun and relaxation....